More tales of woe eminate from the press room. This morning the journalists arrived with jumpers to combat the over-efficient air conditioning which keeps the media cool. And they still have to pay for their coffee and biscuits.

The results of our team photo have also now been published. At least everyone here made it on to the shot. Rumours abound that a certain garage had to have a senior team person electronically added to the official photograph after he was not told in time that the picture was being taken. Which one? Answers on a postcard, please…

Other rumours emerging? There are secret tunnels connecting the bigger boats in the marina to the Yas Hotel (the big shiny one the cars go through) and that the curtains don’t close. Actually we know the curtains don’t close properly on the big spangly hotel because our third driver told us so.

We’ve also discovered that the Kangaroo TVs (the handheld monitors which you can watch the action on) don’t work in our hospitality areas because the walls are thick concrete and the glass in the windows is leaded. It also explains why mobile phones aren’t crystal clear here either.

Tonight’s live musical entertainment in ‘Ferrari World’ is Jamiroquoi. Just so you know. If you can’t make it, here he is. Hmm, funky.

How new is Yas Marina? Well we know it’s physically new – just ask our team manager who came here after Bahrain to inspect what he described as a dustbowl. And we know the hotel we’re staying in is new – it only opened last Friday. But it’s the minor things such as the reception staff who don’t know how to get to the Paddock from our hotel (it’s, er… across the road, first right, first left) or taxi drivers having no idea how to get to the circuit from the airport. The latter greatly annoyed one of our number when he arrived this morning and could not for love, money nor raised voice get the driver to understand where he wanted to go. “Yas Marina, boss? Never heard of it.”

Although you can’t say we haven’t heard the airport. The big, sparkly hotel that the track goes through is right under the flight path. The departing aircraft’s wheels are barely in the plane before the jumbo’s skimming the spangly hotel roof. But this is only one of the problems the hotel is attempting to resolve. The lifts don’t have the right floor numbers on the buttons making getting to the right floor to get to your room more luck than decision.

Still, it is an amazing piece of architecture, like many of the buildings around the track. One of the photographers claims the track would be dull without the buildings. Which is true, but then so would Singapore or even Monaco. The only one which wouldn’t is Spa. Or Silverstone. But it does need to bed-in, the pots of paint are finally being cleared away, the drivers’ names above the garage are now corrected (told you so…) and the irrigation schemes are complete. Although a sense of irony would have helped the printers of the obligatory Don’t Waste Water leaflets which litter the hotel bathroom – from your bedroom window you can see miles of trees which are watered 24/7.

The final event of this evening (for those who didn’t run off to catch a glimpse of Beyonce playing live) was a reception held by our circuit hosts. Siting the soiree straight outside the Media Centre entrance was a stroke of genius as journalists are bound by law to accept a glass of something cold if it’s offered to them. The event also saw the unveiling of ten works of art created by artist Mark Dickens with Mr Ecclestone’s endorsement. Dickens had asked each of the drivers to write out a couplet from Rudyard Kipling’s If… poem, had photographed them writing it and then created a collage of photographs, prints, gold leaf, fabric and the handwritten lines of the British poet. All good. Except some of the lines take on a completely different meaning now we’re at the end of the season and all the shenanigans we’re witnessed. Felipe Massa, on the road to recovery after his horrific injury in Hungary was given the first two lines, which seem inappropriate now; but perhaps the best was getting Nelson Piquet Jnr (this was back while he was with the team, pre-Crashgate, remember) to write out these two lines:

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools.

Ouch.

A sense of awe permeates the pitlane this weekend. Mechanics from every team wander about in amazement, stunned by the greatest advancement in motor racing technology since the invention of the click-stop torque wrench. We refer, of course, to the fact that the garages here in Abu Dhabi are air-conditioned. Big ceiling fans blast out cold air, while more is pumped in to form cold air curtains across the front. The sense of wonder couldn’t have been higher if race control had replaced Charlie Whiting with a platinum animatronic unicorn voiced by Beyoncé.

Of course it won’t last for long. Pretty soon the thought of working in a non-air-conditioned garage will be simply beyond the pale and the boys will be disgusted with the inhuman treatment meted out to them at every other race track around the world with their primitive ambient temperature regimes. (Though possibly not Silverstone, Spa and Suzuka, where coal fire would probably come in more useful than air con.)

It’s just one example of how this new track fundamentally raises the game. It is very, very good, though things are breaking all the time, mostly because everything is so just out of the wrapper. Next year it will probably run like clockwork, but for the moment the paddock staff are run ragged, working all the hours in the day to keep everything running. Fortunately they’re a good bunch of lads, many of whom have been seduced over to the dark side from F1 teams. The circuit boss is Richard Cregan, who used to be the team manager at Toyota. He’s brought some of his guys with him, who in turn have hired all of their mates from around the paddock, all of which means the place is being run by people who know what needs to be done and how to do it – so the usual new-track chaos is diminished.

The pampered classes in the press room are less happy. For months they’ve been promised a media centre to beat anything else in the world. Well, if the stories are true it’s certainly different. Never mind the super-sized video walls and designer roof-top terrace, what’s got them incensed is being charged for coffee. F1 journalism is fuelled by unsubstantiated rumour, rampant speculation and buckets of hot coffee. Everywhere else it comes complimentary but Yas Marina are keen to recoup their £300 million investment by getting Mr and Mrs Hack to cough up a pound a cup. Of course paying for anything is anathema to them, so instead they’re all walking over to the paddock and pinching ours.

As soon as you land in Abu Dhabi, you’re bombarded with facts about the new circuit. Each of the many members of the customer service team in the airport wears a scarf in chequered flag motif (yep, that’s black and white…) and before you exit customs they’ve handed you a booklet in Arabic and English which tells you everything about the circuit. Information such as… this is the first circuit where every seat is covered; there are 30 garages in the support race pitlane; it’s the only track which runs through a hotel; it has the longest straight in F1 (1.2km); it has the only pitlane tunnel in grand prix racing; it has the only run-off which goes under a grandstand. It’s bigger, better and more organised than any circuit on the planet. A shame the team were taken from the airport in the smallest, oldest, slowest bus on the planet:

Picture: Crunch Photography

A walk of the track though, reveals much of these bold claims are true. Whereas in the UK the powers that be are arguing over which of the two more traditional homes of British racing will be up to Mr Ecclestone’s expectations in time for next season, in the Middle East they’re creating new, innovative monuments to motor-racing in the desert. Complete with water parks. And they don’t have many of those in Leicestershire.

Although they do have multi-storey car parks – and the pitlane exit through the tunnel, under the track does have a touch of the car park about it. The long descent, tight left-hander and then up a long slope to re-join the main track is going to be an interesting challenge for those exiting and those on track.

The circuit boasts two separate track configurations at a time and while the run-off is slightly more substantial than a Singapore or a Monaco, there isn’t much in the way of gravel traps to slow cars which are heading towards the Armco… just painted concrete. They’re painting quite a lot of concrete still today (Wednesday). And while much of the grass (yes, they’re growing grass in the desert) at the side of the track is manicured lawn, there are the odd patches where the turf hasn’t taken and patches of sand have been spray-painted green. They’ll never spot it on the TV.

What they might spot on television is the misspelling of Sebastian’s name above his garage. And they got M Buemi’s first name wrong as well next door. Although with trademark local efficiency they’ll probably have sorted it come Friday.

Our hotel is one of five in a semi-circle just across the road from the track. The starting-from-scratch method of creating motorsport oases means everything is close at hand and purpose-built, the down side is that there’s not much else here apart from the track and the accommodation. Most teams’ taste of the local culture will involve checking out the Mexican restaurant based in their brand-spanking new hotel.

Like the very best of inanimate objects (Harley Davidson, New York, er… Enola Gay) the Energy Station has been immortalised in song. Yep, a Chinese journalist Frankie Mao was so impressed when he visited us in Monaco that he took time to write an ode to our motorhome. While they look beautiful in the original Cantonese, we’ve translated them for our English-speaking fans:

Welcome to Energy Station
by Frankie Mao

Another coming race filled with harmony

The dishes are changed, but emotion scents like food

Energy Station is always open, ready to embrace you with a hug

Know each other better after you taste them, you’ll love this motorhome

 Wherever you’re from you’ll be our guest so just be at home

We have agreed to meet here in the spare time of race, Red Bull would like to welcome you

Red Bull and STR are making a new record

To witness the youth and brave in F1, you’ll get deep memories

Off tracks, you’re guest, just be yourself at home

Whether you’re newcomers or re-visitors, we’ve lots to chat

Welcome to Energy Station, we offer you good delicacies

The charm is flowing, fresh spirit’s everywhere

Welcome to Energy Station, share happiness at motorhome

Watch a new fastest lap made on the track

Energy Station is always open, we’ve space for F1

Times files with youthful power, we’ll wait for the chequered-flag

On tracks or not we’re still friends, so just be yourself at home

Smiling faces are all around, all awaiting there for you

Welcome to Energy Station, we’re reaching like this passion

Let’s push and try our best

Welcome to Energy Station, we’re making you relax

Takeover on the track, we’ve a lot of potential

Welcome to Energy Station, we’re treating with champagne

Let’s push and break the record

Welcome to Energy Station, witness our pole-position and win

Welcome to Red Bull, geniuses make us stronger

Adrian Newey is here, so we’ve miracles

Welcome to Red Bull, Sebastian Vettel is a great driver

We’ve SV, we have the future

Welcome to Red Bull, Mark Webber is a great driver

He’s patient, so he got a win finally

Red Bull is here and there, we’re proud of our dreams

Champions are for those daring to try.

And the whole thing should go to the tune of Beijing Welcomes You, the theme song of the 2008 Beijing Olympic games:

If anyone fancies singing the lyrics to the above tune and recording themselves doing it, we’ll put the video online and find a prize for the best one.

A grand prix win for Red Bull Racing means several things: another couple of trophies for the cabinet, a feeling of collective pride for everyone who works in Milton Keynes and… another limited edition poster for every member of staff.

Following Mark’s emphatic win in Brazil everyone at Milton Keynes was given a poster to commemorate Mark’s second race win this year.

…and Team Intercom has of 25 to give away to the winners of our competition.

If you fancy owning one of these prizes which feature the picture of Mark (taken by Getty Images above) on one side and shots of the RB5, the team celebrating and the race on the reverse, then just answer the following question and enter our competition:

Howe many podium finishes (including wins) has Mark Achieved in 2009 for Red Bull Racing?

You need to send the answer, your name, full postal address and a daytime phone number to competition@redbullf1.com before 5pm (CET) on Sunday, November 1, 2009. The 25 winners will be chosen at random from the correct answers.

Best of luck…

Congratulations to the winners of our Vettel Victory in Japan competition. Those who’ll receive a limited edition poster celebrating Seb’s success are:

Rachel Watkinson, UK; Andrew Phillips, USA; Jesus Leon, USA; Qiuchen Liu, China; Katalin Mikó, Hungary; Brandon Gaskins, USA; Miki Bhagwanani, UK, Priscilla Amador, Brazil;  Roberto Montefredini, Italy; Sandrine Bouchard, France; Sebastian Geck, Germany; Erina Yan, Japan; Kumi Matsuzaka, Japan; Alin Neacsu, Romania; Anna Fatima, Philippines; Tomomi Takeuchi, Japan; Jade Colburn, UK; Richard Sanderson, UK; June Lee, China;  Emma Turner, UK; Christoph Langer, Austria; Tom Bellingham, UK; Raiza Campregher, Brazil; Mitsuru Makino, Japan; Kaori Sasaki, Japan.

OK, you’ve probably heard some bad stuff about racing at Interlagos; now here’s the good.

With the exception of Japan, Brazil is a race apart from all the other flyaways. Everywhere else has an ulterior motive for hosting F1. It promotes tourism, or commerce or national pride. Sometimes it’s simply a sop to the egos of rich men. Even Melbourne, arguably our favourite long-haul destination, only continues to host the race because there’s a positive impact on the local economy.

But Brazil isn’t like that. Brazil has a race because it wants a race. It has an audience that doesn’t need any persuading to come see the best drivers in the world, driving the best cars in the world. The atmosphere is more like a football match (a good one, not anything involving Nottingham Forest) than a grand prix. There’s a huge surge of noise around the Interlagos bowl whenever anything happens – and in ‘anything’ you can include a fire truck doing a lap or someone turning an engine over in the pitlane. It’s fair to say that’s not the only thing well-lubricated in the vicinity.

Of course this year the loudest chants were for Rubens, but it’s a bonus that home grown talent has provided so many of F1’s greats over the years rather than a factor that influences the popularity of the event. 90 per cent of the crowd would have been absolutely distraught to see Rubens go backwards in yesterday’s race, but that didn’t stop a full-throated roar of appreciation greeting Mark on the podium, or Jenson Button in parc ferme. It’s great that a huge crowd of real race fans got to see history being made, rather than that privilege going to the handful of tourists and confused locals that will make up the crowd in Abu Dhabi next week.

Since Red Bull Racing emerged blinking into the light, Brazil has always been the race where the championship has been settled, which is handy if you enjoy a good party. The abiding memory of 2005 is wandering into the Hilton at 3am, to see a young, painfully shy Fernando Alonso all on his own, clutching a bottle of champagne, tottering down a corridor, giggling as he bounced off the walls. Kimi in 2007 was cadging cigarettes off us at 6am, while dancing like an idiot at the Red Bull end of season shindig. Last year Lewis was observed having a glass of water in the hotel bar. It may have been sparkling. Hopefully Jenson will be waking up this morning – or this afternoon – in some foreign bathtub, wondering why his mouth tastes like the floor of a Morumbi taxi. Rubens has very generously lent Jenson his plane to ensure a swift return home. Hopefully it’s well-stocked with asprin.

Having Interlagos coming hot on the heels of Suzuka is almost like trying to eat two chocolate cakes in one go. But they are very different types of cake: in Japan, everything is neatly sliced and beautifully presented and in Brazil, it’s just a tasty mess of cacao and cream served in your hand.

And this year, there is a really special buzz to the place, given that Rubens Barrichello is in the running for the championship and that Felipe Massa made his first public appearance since his Hungary accident and has an important job to do: waving the chequered flag at the end of the race.

If Rubinho wins on Sunday, the fans will probably pull the Interlagos circuit to the ground. That isn’t saying much, as a lot of it is nearly falling down already.

But one element is just fantastic and that’s this short little track that follows the contours of the land between two lakes, hence the name Interlagos. It’s the fans here who really make the race weekend as they are the most enthusiastic on the calendar, making the Ferrari tifosi look like kindergarten kids, so vocal and fierce is their support for any local driver.

Go down to the grid for the race start and the grandstand is so close to the track, you feel as though the slightest provocation and the fans would be on the grid with you. When Ayrton Senna was racing and last year with Massa, the atmosphere and noise would really make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

The crowd is very good natured, but somehow they are a bit quieter than the days when we raced in Rio. There, entire Samba Bands would come into the stands, playing music loud enough to drown out the engine noise. They were all well lubricated with huge plastic containers of beer, which would be passed along each row, so that everyone got a drink.

It may be best not to go into details about how they got rid of all this drink, but it involved passing the now empty jugs back down the line to be filled with something the same colour as beer.

Every city hosting a grand prix likes to talk about the way in which the race stimulates the local economy. In Sao Paulo it can be more of a direct transaction.

There was a quite heavy, highly-conspicuous police presence on the avenue going up to the circuit entrance his morning. It both is and isn’t a good sign. Good, because everything is a little bit safer, bad because it usually appears after someone from the paddock has been robbed.

You won’t find anywhere in the world as wealthy as Sao Paulo. And you won’t find anywhere quite so poor either. And bizarrely, at least to our eyes, the two aspects of the city somehow managed to co-exist side by side. The muggings and car-jackings that take place every year when F1 comes to town are a lesson in simple economics. The street kids know there’s basically one road in and out of the circuit, and that in the evening, any car coming down the road with a parking sticker on it is going to be packed full of laptops, watches, cameras and more assorted wealth than they’ll ever see in their lives. Knock one car over and eat for a year. It’s hard to argue with the logic, and impossible to blame them for having a go – but you still try damned hard to stop it happening to you. 

And so we scuttle from the track to the hotel, trying not to stop or slow down for anyone or anything, but every year someone gets relieved of their valuables. What’s annoying is that we know it’s going to happen, and we know where it’s going to happen, and so do the local police – but they don’t bother to show up until after it’s happened, when they suddenly put on a show of force to face down the horde of Genghis Khan.

As it turned out this year’s first robbery happened miles away from the circuit, when one unlucky soul had a puncture on his drive in from the airport, in a place where stopping by the side of the road really wouldn’t be your first choice.

Of course Sao Paulo isn’t the only place where anyone in team kit gets treated as a mobile ATM: in fact talk to any seasoned truckie and they’ll say that for years Silverstone was the worst place in the world for things walking out of the paddock – though obviously mysterious disappearances in the night isn’t quite the same thing as staring down the barrel of a handgun.

There’s nothing particularly that you can do to stop it, but you will see a conspicuous number of petrol station watches and ancient mobile phones on display in the paddock this weekend. Best not to tempt fate…